I have issues too!!! (eating disorder)

I have been depressed for a few days for different reasons. One of them is a body issue. I have been struggeling with this issue since I was a young child. Yes, I started to care about body weight since I was a child (8years). Mostly because my aunts were upset with weight and as a child I just copied them. You see, I came from a family of overweight (even obeast you may call). As a young child they told me I would get fat one day. ´It runs in the family´, they said. So I tried my best to keep my self "thin" through teenage years and I succeded. 

Then I turned 20 and we all know it`s getting harder with age. Then thanks to Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie, and many others Hollywood actressess, "skinny" becomes the new "pretty"! I can never be that skinny, I have accepted that. But I would like to stay thin. But it`s getting harder and harder. 

I have an eating disorder. Most people think, eating disorder is those who does not eat. But over-eating is also an disorder. When I eat, I can`t stop. It´s like my stomach doesn`t let me know when its full. So I keep eating until I´m totally blowed up! I love food very much. I love cooking it, and eating it. Somedays I´m just afraid to look at myself in the mirror. When I put on some weight, I get depressed. When I`m depressed, I eat! So you see, the problem just go around in circle. 



I can´t talk to my friends about this problem because they would just yell at me for being ´silly´. When I say I feel fat, people laugh at me and say ´but you are a model´. Or they get very offented because they are bigger then me. Pictures from my photo-shoot are taken by the right angle with right lightning, not the less the right pose. Yes I do feel pretty when I see those pictures but that is not how I look like everday! 


4 kommentarer

kawaiicupcakes :3

09.06.2011 kl.13:45

But I think you are beautiful.. :c

But eating disorders are serious e_e

i have that too, yiu are not alone <3


09.06.2011 kl.17:47

<3 viktig tema


09.06.2011 kl.18:12

Bra at folk tar opp viktige temaer.


09.06.2011 kl.21:58

Både Nicole och den andre ser førjævliga ut på den dær bilden dock, tror de flesta kan hålla med dær, man vill inte se hud på ben utan något mellan :S

De flesta som blir kænda på utseende, Adriana Lima t.ex har ju dubbla deras kroppsmassa.

Tråkigt att du har problemen men det ær bara å fortsætta kæmpa, du ær fin som du ær nu btw.

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Mandy Dexter

Mandy Dexter

7, Oslo

Cosplayers and Online-store owners (www.retrovintage.no)